So, moving on from the fact that the Giants, well, lost…
Is it?
For your viewing pleasure: Color commentator Cris Collinsworth said the play “might be the greatest catch I’ve ever seen.”
So, moving on from the fact that the Giants, well, lost… Is it?
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Last week I attended a collegiate men’s soccer (football) match, in which UConn and USF competed to play Tulsa in the 2014 AAC Championship game. After no goals were scored in regulation or sudden death overtime, a winner had to be decided, and thus USF won in penalty kicks, 2-0.
In 110 minutes of scoreless play, UConn outshot USF 16-3. The eye test tells us that Connecticut recorded a couple of dangerous scoring chances, while South Florida did not. In the 74th minute of the game, a USF player received his second yellow card through a violently poor tackle attempt, sending him off for card accumulation. Forced to play the rest of the match with only 10 men, South Florida spent almost half an hour booting the ball away to the Connecticut side of the field, forgoing possession to prepare for the next bout of goalmouth defense, and hopefully make it to the shootout. A bit late to the punch here, sure, but I absolutely could not let this video slide by without making sure that it got its due. There’s no way to sufficiently describe "Too Many Cooks" to someone who hasn’t seen it, so go ahead and watch it. Here are the facts: it originally aired at Adult Swim at four in the morning, and it’s gone viral recently. Take the plunge. And be sure you make it to the end. (WARNING/SPOILER ALERT: The video gets graphic and somewhat disturbing, in an SNL Julia Child sketch sort of way, though not nearly as excessive in volume. Everything is very low budget, however.) Good luck getting that jingle out of your head. It’s stuck there. It’s played in the background of everything I’ve done today. English class? Too many cooks. Roast beef sandwich? Too many cooks. Math exam? Too many cooks.
Ten thoughts: 1. The serial killer appears multiple times in the video before he actually starts to deal out the hurt, including as early as 20 seconds in, when Morgan Burch is doing homework. This nuance, along with many, many other obscure details, gives the video the kind of staying power that will keep people watching it over, and over, and over again. You know what’s great about stuff like this? No grading. No English teacher ripping you to shreds because your thesis didn’t provide a comprehensive summary of your overall argument. The world is your oyster. My room is organized, but this piece won’t be.
And why should it be? Doritos aren’t exactly a five-star snack. Sure, they don’t leave you with the same grimy, dusty fingers that a bag of Cheetos will, but still. Doritos are for the times when you want that dignified tortilla chip taste, but are too lazy to hastily dump some salsa into a bowl. Don’t pretend that eating salsa out of a jar is an acceptable way to do so. It’s not. Especially when you’re with a group of people, where even trying to fill a Tostitos Scoop becomes a dangerous game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Maybe I’m a hungry, hungry hypocrite. I love Doritos. Right now, they are the best salty snack on the market. With their recent and rapid growth, and successful expansion beyond just chips, it’s now a full blown brand, and it's amazing to see. So, here are some ways in which you can consume Doritos. Ways in which Doritos will consume you. Once they have you, it’s too late. |
AuthorT. Swift Archives
December 2016
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